Friday, June 7, 2013

Snips and Snails - #1


         

          Summer Saturday to do list -  1)  Cut grass 2)  Wash Car 3)  Participate in Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday!!!  What better to wallow away a Saturday afternoon than perch up in your favorite hammock with the electronic device of your choosing and write, read, or better yet both some great SciFi/Fan writing with some truly great writers.  I’ve been sharing snippets from a WIP, Myth-In-Law, for the last several weeks but I think it  has ran its course, for now.  Thanks for all the great comments and feedback.  I’m still hacking away at that story but I felt like moving on.  I had an eight page script that I proposed for a comic anthology a few years ago that I decided to turn in a short story.  While some of the visuals may be lost in translation, I’m hoping to convert it and keep it entertaining.  I may even throw in a few of the quick sketches I did along the way.  The story, Snips and Snails, is short tale about fear and what it means in our modern world.  I hope you enjoy.  Please take a few minutes to share a comment or two and, if you like, maybe even follow along on my blog.  Please make sure you jump over to SciFiFanSat.blogspot.com and check out all of the fantastic writing contributed by the vast array of great authors over there.

          The room echoed in the night, a blank expanse of shadows.  Searching and stretching under a blackened pocket of fear, shrouded by the doubts of men and home to the creaks and bumps that kept children from their slumber, he waited.
          He was born into darkness, his home and guarded sanctuary since youth.  Nursed on midnight and lullabied by the screech of the owl, the obsidian expanse enveloped him like a security blanket to a babe. 
          Eyes, devoid of pupils, admired the ebony details of his environment that most chose to avoid.  Holding a hand near his face, he admired the dull reflection cast from his clawed fingers.  Each bloodstained nail held a hundred stories of conquest and glorious rampage, bringing a slight grin as he ran his tongue over his fangs, relishing in his gore-filled memories.

          They had feared him in Bangladesh, cowering at his sight.  He kept them quiet under blood red moons, in the pastures and crude towns, his existence giving birth to the lantern. 

16 comments:

  1. I always love your snippets (I really do!), but this week I'm going to come right out and say what everyone else is thinking. Reading white text on a black background blows! (especially with all the green - my brain hurts). I'm sorry - but there, I said it. *pant pant*

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    1. Or maybe because it's early and I need to eat something. ;)

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    2. Mr. Caffrey - while I respect your opinion and value all criticisms for the positive merits they carry I feel I need to respond to your unprovoked attack on the design of by blog in an equally professional manner - Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, and neener, neener. And finally neener. I was looking to revamp it anyway- maybe not by next week but soon. I'll get you to rate it for me when I do on a scale of ten to blows.

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  2. That being said, brilliant snippet. Very vivid and the narrative was very moving!

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    1. Thanks TK. I'm glad you enjoyed it, even wading through all the white font and greens (Caffrey *grumble grumble*) I wanted to share something new and always liked this story. There's a twist or two coming - not as big as someone shouting Dinosaur on a spaceship.

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  3. Loved the imagery, moody and brilliant! Truly creepy! This is not a dude I'd like to meet in a dark alley. He's pure predator.

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    1. Thanks JC! We'll find out even more about him in the next couple weeks but he's definitely got some history.

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  4. Wow, that imagery is intense. I would not want to go anywhere near this guy/creature.

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    1. That's pretty much the response I was hoping for. It's important to get the set up right for me. Glad it did. Thanks for commenting!!

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  5. Great snippet...very deep narrative.

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    1. Thanks, T.M. - it was fun taking this story from a primarily visual format to more narrative intensive.

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  6. "He kept them quiet under blood red moons, in the pastures and crude towns, his existence giving birth to the lantern."

    Loved this line. The premise makes me shiver...can't wait to read more!

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    1. Thanks, Ann! I'm partial to the lantern reference myself. I'm hoping to play out the whole short here.

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  7. This has fantastic wording and pacing. It was literally a joy to read, despite the negative feelings it prompts. It does a great job of dragging the reader in and keeping them. Us. Me. :)

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  8. We. Us. I appreciate the read and great comments, Jalissa. I'm still smoothing it out from transition from comic script to short story but I'm happy with it so far.

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  9. Poetically scary!! *goes to hide under duvet*

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