Friday, May 18, 2012

SFFS SNIPPET #1 - 05/19/12


Thanks for allowing me to join in on the Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday Snippets.  And thanks to the always influential Heidi Ruby Miller for turning me on to the site.  This snippet is from my manuscript Welcome to GreenGrass - set in a patchwork city of magic and technology that is home to a multitude of amazing creatures.  It’s also a place where racial tensions have pushed the population to the brink of civil war.  Feuding factions between the Technologists and Enchanters are destabilizing an already unbalanced civilization and a recent high profile murder threatens to bring down the mysterious dome that both protects and enslaves the city’s denizens.  The story centers on John Traveller, former terran police officer, who leads an unorthodox band of allies to include a pacifist demon, cast out demi-god, and telepathic female into the heart of the city to investigate the mysterious death.



          “Thunderin’ newbies.”  Traveller whispered as he racked a round into his shotgun.  The sound of the weapon chambering echoed down the alley as the figures below him froze in place.  Leveling his head into the weapon’s sights, Traveller spoke, “Load.  Stun.”

          A blast of energy exploded from the barrel, hurtling across the alley and hammering into Gatto’s chest.  The creature hissed as it tumbled away from its intended prey, dropping to the ground as swirls of red light danced across its chest.

          Finding cover behind a couple trash cans, Slythe peered into the corridor’s dark recesses.  Watching his partner writhe in pain, his eyes widened with realization.  “Aw no, not you.”

          Slythe sprinted in the direction opposite the blast.  Jumping over his fallen partner, he bounded over a fence at the alley's end, his lupine silhouette outlined by the twin red moons overhead.

                      

21 comments:

  1. Welcome to the SFFS crew! Great snippet. Definitely want to find out more about what led up to this scene and what follows. Loved the descriptions of the world you've built.

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and especially the comment. Looking forward to submitting more snips.

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    1. Thanks, Heidi. As always, I appreciate any input you have. You're my best reader and awesome CP.

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  3. Welcome aboard! You started off with a good snippet. I love the build-up for what's to come. I dare say that I see some inspiration from Thundercats in this excerpt. Nothing wrong with that; I love Thundercats!

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    1. Thanks Patrick. You never know, there may have been some traces of Lion-O lingering around in my subconscious when I penned it. Thanks for the comments.

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  4. Welcome, indeed. Love the snip. I'm glad to see they've perfected voice commands. My Kinect still gets it wrong - keeps playing 'Glee' when I ask for 'Game of Thrones.' :\

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    1. Thanks for reading and the comments. I can see the mistake by Kinect. The shows ARE pretty similar. I don't see any musical numbers coming up in Thrones any time soon.

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  5. Welcome to SFFS! Love this snippet...like diving head first into a fight and trying to keep your wits about you. Okay, I'm anxious to read more of it... :)

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    1. Thanks for reading. This is a snippet from one of the early chapters. Glad you enjoyed it. I hope to put some more on here.

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  6. A voice-actuated shotgun? Wouldn't that take longer than pulling the trigger?

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  7. Ha. It would but this one shoots what he tells it to...within reason. No projectile squids or flying pizzas. I hear Remmington is coming out with a pump action / popcorn maker. Thanks for keeping me tactically sound though.

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  8. I approve of lupines!

    Welcome to SFFSat, and nice snippet. I'm intrigued. :)

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    1. Thanks. And who doesn't love lupines. I hear they're the new zombies. Faster AND better grooming habits. Appreciate the comment.

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  9. Because I am a very broken person, I heard Traveller whisper "Yes. Run, make it fun."
    Love it. Glad you joined us for SFF Saturdays.

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    1. Thanks, Cassandra. What's cool is you picked up that vibe in ten sentences and you're right, I could easily hear Traveller say that too. Glad you liked the snippet. I'm having a great time with my first SFF Saturday. The feedback and comments are awesome. Is it Wednesday yet? I need to figure out my next snippet.

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  10. Good world building. I like how you worked in the details with the DL. It looks like an interesting read.

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    1. I appreciate the comments Liana. The feedback from everyone has been great. I'm looking forward to posting more GreenGrass snippets and reading more of yours and everyone else's work as well. Thanks!

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  11. Not only is the premise awesomez, the snippet does more than back it up. Great action.

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    1. Hey Jalisa. Thanks. I gave the first snippet submission a lot of thought and figured what better way to begin than intro in the main character. I'm really glad you enjoyed it and look forward to exchanging comments over the coming weeks.

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  12. Cool gun! Never thought of doing a voice command trigger.

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