Thanks for stopping over for another
Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday. It’s
cold outside here and the perfect time to catch up on some reading or churn out
some writing pages. I hope you enjoy
this week’s snippet. This one again
comes from one of my current works in progress that deals with a young boy,
Sam, and his unique family history that he’s only now beginning to learn
about. The snippet picks up after Sam’s
harrowed bridge crossing and crash and the mysterious voice at the end of the
tunnel, literally. I appreciate everyone
who takes the time to stop and read and if you could leave a comment or two,
all the better. Please make sure you
check out all the great snippets over at the main site. They’re a talented group of writers who make
the weekend a little more enjoyable by sharing their work.
“Who said that?”
Sam spun around and saw a small earthen
tornado swirling behind him with the faint outline of a man trapped inside.
A dirt covered arm protruded from the
vortex. “I got somethin’ for you.”
Sam heaved a rock at the mass, aiming for
what he figured was the head, and shouted, “Leave me alone!”
The stone ricocheted inside the roiling
dust storm and erupted back out, embedding into the ground between Sam’s legs.
“Glad to see ya got some fight in you.”
Sam pushed his legs along the ground to
gain some distance and swore he could make out a cowboy hat on the figure’s
head.
“Who are you?”
“Your dad sent me, dingus.”
Who is this mystery tornado cowboy?!
ReplyDeleteHa. Trust me, we see a lot more of him. I didn't know if the dingus line would give it away. We all know him. He's a bit of a legend. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteEerie and effective - dust and dirt and ground and the earthen tornado. I'm intrigued to know where this is going. Good snippet - thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peter. I haven't really revealed the basis of the story line with the snippets but its kind of fun building into it.
DeleteYeah, you know - throwing a rock at a tornado; not such a great idea! Great snippet - thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteSam's just a boy. We throw rocks at things. It's in our nature. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteA family like that I can do without.
ReplyDeleteThat's only the beginning of Sam learning more about his heritage. Maybe more than he wants. Thanks, Sue!
DeleteI don't know who this guy is, but I don't think he works for the Postal Service (Sorry, Posties. I actually have oodles of respect for Post-People. Some of my best friends deliver the mail).
ReplyDeleteLook at me digress! Awesome snippet. Vivid, fast-paced, and enjoyably entertaining!
Posties! Sounds like a Kevin Smith movie. I like it. Glad you enjoyed the snippet. I'm having a lot of fun picking which parts to post when.
ReplyDeleteI like how you keep the story rolling. Lots of energy.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I try to keep the pacing humming along, even in snippets.
DeleteThis is both creepy and humorous, in its own right. While the apparition and its purpose (as well as appearance) is disturbing (and effectively described), the cowboy hat, Sam attempting to throw a rock at its head and the ghostie's dialogue made me smile. A very fun mix.
ReplyDeleteThanks, J.M. Humor usually works best for me when it's mixed in with different situations. Glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the comments, as always.
ReplyDeleteI love your use of the word "dingus" in this bit. It's a seriously underrated insult. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm not the president of the DRA (Dingus Revival Association) for nothing. Thanks.
DeleteHeh. Dingus.
ReplyDeleteThere's humor here, but also a bit of an underlying darkness. Great for tension. I really want to keep reading!
(Sorry I took so long to comment this week.)
I'm glad to hear the tone seems to be coming across where I want it. I don't want it campy but not scare the begeezus out of you either. Sincerely, Dingus.
DeleteI'm intrigued by Vortex Man. Can't wait til the next snippet. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gayle! I'll be identifying V-Man here soon and I'm curious to see the reception it gets. Appreciate the comments.
ReplyDelete