Welcome to another Science Fiction
Fantasy Saturday! I hope everyone had a
great holiday season and got in some quality reading. For this snippet I stayed with the same WIP I
worked from for my last contribution. It
focuses on a young boy, Sam, and how his colorful and unexpected family history
comes crashing into his life. The story
deals with legends and lore and the power of imagination. I hope you enjoy. Lastly, make sure that you check out all of
the snippets contributed this round by a truly talented group of writers and
leave a few comments along the way. It’s
like tipping your literary waiter.
Sam locked the brakes on his bike,
eyeing the covered bridge in front of him.
A small creek flowed below it, spreading the smell of mountain laurel
native to the area. Supported by decades
old railroad planks, Sam had never questioned their ability to support his
weight during the timed five seconds it took him to cross. The sight of the shadowed expanse always drew
him back to his favorite ballad of one doomed Ichabod Crane and his fateful
encounter with the headless rider. His
foot hovered over the pedal as he listened for the sound of approaching hoofs,
glancing behind him before he jolted out over the aged timbers. The bike’s
almost flat rear wheel slowed him down as it thumped across each board, jarring
his neck and shoulders with each rotation.
Sam glanced into the dark recesses of the rafters as a swirl of dust
darted in from outside, catching him by surprise. Pain shot through both eyes as he shot out
the other end of the bridge. His front
wheel struck a rut in rough cut dirt road and Sam soared over the handle bars, landing
head first into a bank of dandelions.
A hoarse voice called out behind him,
“It’s time, Sam.”
Great description, and excellent set-up. Definitely want to find out more.
ReplyDeleteThanks, T.M. I'm having fun with it and the story is shaping nicely. I appreciate the comments.
ReplyDeleteI'm with T.M. Fantastic details to describe the setting and get your reader in place for what's going to happen. Tied up quite nicely with the ominous last line.
ReplyDeleteThanks J.M. It's always interesting to go through just ten lines and the changes you can make. It would be fun to do a whole novel snippet by snippet. Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful description.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sue.
ReplyDeleteWow. Great description! I grew up near a covered bridge in the woods... this brought back old memories, sights, and smells.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet, and the last line gave me chills. :)
Thanks, Ann. I've crossed a few in my youth too and drew on that. No headless horsemen though, luckily.
DeleteVery scary :) Nice going.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara. Mixing elements of fantasy, horror, and a dash of adventure and hoping it produces an entertaining read. I appreciate the comments.
ReplyDeleteCovered bridges, dandelions... Hmm... I think Sam must be from my neck of the woods (New Brunswick - the land of said bridges, and plentiful of weeds, to boot).
ReplyDeleteOh, and great descriptive passage. Nice!
I was using the area around Lancaster so kinda close. They have some great bridges out there too. Thanks for the comments.
DeleteHe'll knacker that back wheel riding on a flat. Nice and atmospheric :)
ReplyDeleteKnacker the back wheel! That's awesome. I can't promise I won't use that at some point. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteIt's time... to start wearing a helmet and fix that flat. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteHa! That one made me laugh out loud. Let me know if you're available as a novel safety consultant. Could help my liability rates. Thanks.
DeleteWow, great imagery!! That last line sorta sent some chills down my spine though. "It's time.." ahh!!
ReplyDeleteThanks TK!! I'm still having a lot of fun with these and I'm trying to corner the market on the cliffhanger snippet. Appreciate the comments.
ReplyDeleteEeek, scary last line!
ReplyDeleteThanks Pippa! Tried to foreshadow some with the headless rider comment. Glad you liked it!
DeleteOoh, who's speaking that last line?
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet and, yay, for the Legend of Sleepy Hollow reference! :)
The Sleepy Hollow legend had some great history and plays into the story again later. The speaker of the last line is a surprise but a safe bet no one would guess who it is but also plays into our folklore. Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteLoving the reference to Sleepy Hollow and the atmosphere of the snippet.
ReplyDeleteTime for what? O.o
Hey Misa. I think it's a turn no one's expecting. Guess we'll find out. Thanks!
ReplyDelete