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Welcome to another SciFi Fantasy
Saturday and my latest snippet contribution from a current WIP of mine. For the last few weeks, we’ve followed Sam
and Mary on a bike ride home and a few mysterious revelations about ghosts, an
ominous bike ride over a covered bridge, and last week Sam met up with a human
twister sent to him by his thought to be dead father. Here we’re picking up from last week and the
mysterious stranger has left something for Sam before vanishing. Sam has just finished reading the note from
his Dad. I hope you enjoy this week’s
snippet and, as always, if you feel compelled, comments are appreciated. Please make sure you check out the other
writers and their work over at Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday. There’s a lot of talent there and definitely
worth your time. Enjoy.
Sam wiped the dirt stained tears from
his cheeks and stared at the bottom of the note. Love
and Dad were two words he never
expected to hear again. He carefully re-folded
the page and slid it between the pages of his science book. Sam tugged at the strings bound tightly
around the package the note was attached to.
He instinctively felt for his trusted folding knife in the front pocket
of his jeans before remembering he just left school. The blade was the last thing his father gave
him before he vanished and Sam wasn’t about to chance it winding up inside a
desk drawer in Mr. Skinner’s office.
Stuffing the package the best he could inside his book bag, Sam figured
it would hold until he made it home and could get it un-wrapped.
He brushed the dust from his clothes and
started pushing his bike down the trail, casting a last look at the bridge as
he rounded the bend.
“I haven’t seen my dad in ten years and he sends
a human twister to give me a diary. I might
as well add crazy to my growing list of problems.”
I wouldn't have been able to wait! Nice snippet :)
ReplyDeleteChantal - I know what you mean but where's the suspense in that? Ha.
DeleteI love the final line of dialogue! Great snippet - looking forward to seeing where this goes.
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DeleteThanks Peter! I'm going to move on some from here and throw in a few more twists. Thanks for following along!
DeleteGreat dialogue there at the end. Also, definitely displays the emotions throughout. Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks. A little more narrative than dialogue but I try to keep it engaging. Thanks for commenting. It really does help drive me on.
DeleteLove the bit about the knife. This is very well executed. Just the right blend of real and fantastical.
ReplyDeleteThanks JC. It's all in the details, right? I'm having fun with it.
DeleteI love this. So well written and says so much in just a few lines. I feel for this kid and I want to read on and learn about his father.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the read! Glad you're enjoying it. Sam's troubles are just starting.
DeleteThe story takes a few fantastical turns but at its heart it's all about family. Glad the vibe comes through. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLots of interesting bits and details - the knife, the package, the teacher - gives me a great sense of character and where we are in this world.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cary! Ill take a well placed detail any day.
DeleteI love the time you took with little details in this snippet. Built the setting, mood and worked in some good characterization. The last line--his bit of dialogue--is spot on. The humor is perfect.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I love doing these snippets. I don't think that I've submitted one without changing a little something and it drives home the point of less is usually more.
DeleteGreat snippet with subtle details. Now why do I get the feeling that he's not going to get the package home safely? This scene is just building up for a nice little bit of tension...more please!!
ReplyDeleteHa. We'll see how far he gets. The package has a few surprises in store for young Sam.
DeleteWill the package wait for him to get home?
ReplyDeleteHa. Hopefully no more tunnels!
DeleteConsidering the circumstances, he seems very level-headed and not crazy at all. No need for him to worry on that account :)
ReplyDeleteSam has a high threshold for strangeness but even he has limits, which are about to be tested.
DeleteWell, at least he's level-headed about all this.
ReplyDeleteKinda want to know what dad was up to... but I guess the diary will reveal this!
Isn't that a true show of character, how we face adversity? Guess we'll have to see how he holds up. Thanks for the comments!
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