It’s another Saturday and a fresh batch of Sci-Fi Fantasy Snippets has just been pulled from the oven. You can almost smell the creativity. I’ve decided to leave GreenGrass on the shelf this time around and share a snippet from a current WIP. The story revolves around family, legends, and some lesser known folklore. I hope you enjoy my contribution this week. Be sure to check out all of the great authors who post on Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday and leave a comment along the way. They’re always appreciated. Have a good weekend.
“We gettin’ close, Ray, so stay on your tip
tops.”
The flat bottomed boat glided passed a
bramble of broken branches massed atop patches of floating vegetation. All three men aboard the tiny vessel focused
on the glowing green eyes that stared back at them from underneath the tangled
trees.
“I think I’d like my chances wit’ dat ol’
boy than what we’re after tonight,” Jimmy quipped as he kept the reptiles eyes reflecting
in his flashlight’s beam until they passed.
He nervously rubbed a carved gris
gris held by a rope around his neck and called over his shoulder.
“Hope you brought a good luck charm of
your own, Cap’n. Me and Ray ain’t never
been on no witch hunt ‘fore.”
Securing a weathered journal into his
shoulder satchel, the grizzled man hunched in the rear of the boat stared up
into the starless blackened sky.
“It’s a cauchemar to be exact, my
friends. A dead witch.”
Uh oh...always have to watch out for folks hunting dead witches. Nothing good can come from this, for sure. Good snippet.
ReplyDeleteSo you figured out they're not census workers? Thanks for commenting, T.M.
DeleteOo, great dialects, great settings and fantastic mood. I loved this. Especially the last line.
ReplyDeleteThanks, J.M. I always hope to find the right balance when it comes to using dialect. Glad you enjoyed it. I had fun whittling it down to be snippet ready.
ReplyDeleteI like the alliteration in the description. Makes it flow. I'm usually wary of using dialect, but it works really well here. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peter. I had to go back through the whole chapter and pare down on using the dialect. It's fun to write but easy to get carried away Glad you enjoyed it and as always I really appreciate the comments.
ReplyDeleteI like your use of the dialect here. It adds color.
ReplyDeleteThanks Patrick. I was hoping it lended to scene description some also. Appreciate the comments.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I don't have a good feeling about their situation.
ReplyDeleteSo the moonlight picnic vibe didn't come through? Thanks for the comments, Sue.
ReplyDeleteCreepy atmosphere. Good job.!
ReplyDeleteThanks Melisse! It's actually a lot of fun trying to express a scene in ten or less sentences. Great exercise.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great snippet, from the atmosphere to the descriptions to the use of dialect and then one heck of a zinger of a last line. I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteWow. I put all that in there? Thanks Ann! Ill add you to the advance copy list and I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
ReplyDelete